AMAZING BEER
Melody – Amazing Grace
Composed by Splat, East Bay HHH
A - maz - ing beer,
A taste profound,
A whole keg just for thee!
The pack is lost,
But home you've found,
The beer check you can see
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THE BEERY BUNCH
Melody - Brady Bunch Theme
By Koresh, Las Vegas HHH
Here's the story,
Of a thirsty hasher,
Who was running at the back of a pack.
Every bad trail that there was,
Well he found it.
He must have ran for miles!
It's the story,
Of some sacred nectar,
That was chilling with a mind of it's own.
It was one beer,
Sitting in the cooler,
Yet it still had no foam.
'Till the circle,
When the hasher met the nectar.
And he knewwww it just couldn't stick around.
That's when his shorts went down around his ankles
And the beer became a down down down down down!
A down down down!
A down down down!
That's the waaaaayyyyyyy it became a down down down!
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BIRTHDAY SONG
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole,
Happy birthday, fuck you.
May you live 1,000 years
May you drink 1,000,000 beers
Get fucked up you fuck up
Happy birthday FUCK YOU
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DOWN DOWN DOWN YOUR BEER
Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat
Composed by Arabian Goggler
Down Down Down your beer,
To pay for your crime.
Quit complaining about the taste,
There's no sperm this time.
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HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
Melody - Addams Family Theme
Their drinking is compulsive and
Their running is convulsive,
They're morally repulsive,
The Hash House Harriers.
CHORUS:
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da
Their flatulence is rude and
Their genitals protrude when
They're running in the nude in
The Hash House Harriers.
They're always shiggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they're lacking,
The Hash House Harriers.
Da da da da, Down Down, etc . . .
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IF YOUR BOYFRIEND TASTES LIKE SHIT
Melody – If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's probably pushing it,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over.
Alternate version:
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, it's a log, not his dick,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, turn him over.
IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND TASTES LIKE SHIT
Melody – If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, its her asshole not her clit,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over.
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INTERNATIONAL HASH HYMN
Melody - Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
Note: gestures accompany words
I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.
CHORUS:
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.
I'm sometimes up and sometimes down,
Comin' for to carry me home,
But still my soul feels heavenly bound.
Comin' for to carry me home.
If you get there before I do,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends that I'm coming too,
Coming for to carry me home.
(repeat with variations: humming and motions only, silence and motions only, double-
time)
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IT’S A SMALL DICK
Melody - It's a Small World
Contributed by Hazukashii
Well it isn't long and it isn't thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It's a small, small, dick!
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MEET THE HASHERS
Melody - Flintstones Theme
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history,
From Las Vegas, N-V (or your favorite town),
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down.
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MISTER BLUE BALLS
Melody - Zip-a-dee-do-dah
By Yank My Wad, Charleston HHH (a good song for calling the hares to the ice)
Zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day,
My oh my, what a miserable lay.
Haring is great but, beerings the best,
Time for your down-down, put the ice on the chest.
Slap your ass cheeks 'round that ice hole, it's a fact, it's irrefutable, it's cold right on your
pubicals.
Zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day,
Down-downs are better than your miserable lay.
Mr. Blue Balls formed an icicle
He's all cold and furry too, better find something to screw
Oh zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day,
Hope you like ice, 'cause that's where you'll stay.
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OUR LAGER
Prayer
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.
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SOLDIER SONG
Melody - Itself
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, to fight for my country,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
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WHERE WERE YOU LAST WEEK?
Melody - Where Oh Where Were You Last Night (from Hee Haw)
by Preparation H, Ft Eustis HHH
Where, Oh Where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren't even here.
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.
Down, Down, Drink it all Down
Drink it all Down, Drink all of that Beer
You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren't even here.
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.
Drink it down, down, down, down . . .
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WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?
Melody - Itself
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fuckin' use to anyone,
He's no bloody use at all.
They say he's a joy to his mother,
But he's a pain in the asshole to me,
He's fresh as a daisy,
He drives me crazy,
So drink it down, down, down . . .
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EL CAMINO
Melody - Itself
El Camino, El El Camino
El Camino, El El Camino
The front is like a car
The back is like a truck
The front is where you drive
The back is where you...
El Camino, El El Camino
El Camino, El El Camino
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CAVEMAN
Melody - Grunt
Ugh
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